Are you ready to laugh? Here are some of the best jokes in the world that will bring everything from a chuckle to belly laughs!
1. A turtle crossing the road gets mugged by two snails
When the police question the poor shaking turtle about what happened, the turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.
2. A middle-aged woman has a Divine vision when she is rushed into the hospital during a stroke
She asks how long she has to live. The Divine tells her 40 years. After recovering from her stroke, she gets just about every cosmetic surgery in the book. She is killed when she crosses the street after getting her final facelift.
“Didn’t you say that I had 40 more years?” she asks the Divine.
“Then why was I killed today?”
“I didn’t recognize you.”
3. What do you call an eight-character password?
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
4. What do you label a set of batteries?
Tools not included.
5. What kind of computer store is better to fart on?
6. Your neighbor knocks on your door twice.
You open it, find her laughing very hard, pointing at you. But you don’t get it, so you give her a confused stare.
“I knew you wouldn’t get it! It was a knock-knock joke!”
7. An Army tank being used in desert training shoots out a cesspool of dead fish instead of blank bullets.
The tank driver, who had known that something was smelling awful before asks the ammunition loader,
“Sir! Why fish, Sir?!”
“Sir! I thought it was a fish tank, Sir!”
8. My teenage next-door neighbor likes to annoy the whole neighborhood by playing his drums at three o’clock in the morning
One morning, I decide to confront him.
I put on my bathrobe, slip on my slippers, grab my flashlight, and run down the stairs gritting my teeth.
He doesn’t even notice that I’m there at first. Dressed all in black with dreads, he looks as mad as I feel, concentrating on banging those drums as hard as he possibly can. I wait. It feels like a small eternity before he notices me.
When he does, he jumps five feet in the air.
“What are you doing here?” he asks me.
“Oh, really?” I ask him. “At three in the morning?”
“I just like to get everybody banged up!”
9. Why is it a good thing that we can’t understand elephants?
Because they never forget and most of the stuff that they can remember is irr-elephant to us!
We hope that you have enjoyed the laughing entertainment that we have provided you with above. No matter what your situation, life doesn’t have to be taken too seriously.