“He doesn’t buy flowers and never sets the table romantically, but he always pushes the shopping cart.” Heather says, “true love is to be found in the little gestures your husband shows every day.” That’s who he really is.
My husband, my hubby, he always pushes the shopping cart. And when we walk back to the car, he’s always there first to open the doors so I can get in while he’s packing the groceries, no matter what the weather is. Every time. That’s how we do our shopping.
Can I tell you a little secret? It’s taken me years to appreciate these expressions of love. Look, I spent (or rather, wasted) my time thinking about what love looked like in movies, magazines and commercials: beautiful bunches of flowers, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, romantic dinners and surprise trips.
But you know what? I got disappointed time and time again that it didn’t happen to me. And all because I was waiting for him to show what I considered to be true love. Instead, I should have looked at the ways he actually expressed his love.
Friends, when I finally realized that, it was a huge game changer for our relationship. My husband is different. He rarely buys flowers, but he calls me every day when he comes out of work to see if he can bring me anything else. He rarely brings me chocolate, but if he sees anything edible that’s organic and looks good, he buys it for me. He is always so proud when he surprises me with a discovery from the supermarket.
He can only cook eggs and spread sandwiches. And although he has never once served me a beautifully set table with candles and full plates of the most delicious food, every Sunday morning he gets up first to make coffee, fills my favourite mug and gives it to me while I curl up with a blanket on the couch. (And if that mug is still in with the dirty dishes from yesterday, he washes it, my dear).
Oh, it goes so much further. In the middle of the night, he is the first to get up and take care of the crying baby. When his food looks better than what I ordered, he always exchanges our plates. He watches Sleepless in Seattle with me, when he would have preferred to watch football. He knows exactly which ‘ladies products’ I like and shamelessly goes to the pharmacy around the corner to get them for me. (If that’s not love, I don’t know anymore).
The more you think about it, are the flowers, chocolates, the romantic dinners and surprise trips real love? They are short pleasures, as flowers wither, chocolate disappears quickly and trips fly by. It is the moments when you can really trust that he is there for you (every time) that you will experience full love. The good love. The everlasting love.
Just appreciate your lowkey blanket of daily love. That is the love with which I want to experience life. So, girls, don’t look for flowers and don’t waste your time with chocolate. Look for the one who wants to push your shopping cart. Because that’s the love that will always be.